Mountains and Valleys

Life in Africa has shown itself to be a world of contrasts. Granted, I have not been here long enough--only a little less than 4 months in-country and about 5 weeks at site--to adjust and settle down into routines, so it is fitting that things are still up in the air. It will probably take several months to acclimate into some semblance of a "normal" life here. But it is really interesting to me how things dip and peak so quickly and easily during this adjustment period.

Probably the best example is the concept of time here. It seems like I have been here years because of how much has happened in the last 4 months. I have learned and changed so much, that I cannot believe I was still living in LA last September. But at the same time, time is flying by. A day might go by and feel SO long, and then all of a sudden the week is over. A person who lives six hours away from you is "close." Planning a trip for six months from now is "soon." I "just talked" to a certain friend a week ago, and I "just talked" to another good friend 2 months ago... it all feels the same. It is quite confusing, really, and I am not sure why it feels like this. But I guess this can be said for many aspects of life. A friend I was talking to about this pointed out that college years FLEW by, but yet it seems like decades since that first day of freshman year. I guess life has a way of keeping us on our toes.

One thing I am very convicted of this year is trying to live in the moment. So often I am looking ahead to the next big thing, that I miss the present. One minute I will be thinking about how I need to take this experience for what it is, day to day, and the next minute I am daydreaming about the trans-African adventure I will have in December 2010 when I finish my PC service. Back and forth, back and forth. I am learning a lot about what I need to do to stay grounded and really exist in the present moment, and not let this experience slip me by as I waste time thinking about what is to come in the future.

The same emotional swings every human being has exist here as well, but like everything else, they are more polarized. The "highs" are these supreme moments that are unexplainable, just sheer joy and wonder at the fact that I am here and living in Africa and seeing the world and just being so blessed. But the low moments exist, and they of course pass, but in those moments they are tougher than what I am used to, because my cravings for familiarity cannot be satisfied here. I am again learning much about coping, learning about myself and how I tick, especially in Africa, and how I carry the good moments and the blessings I have throughout each and every day. It´s funny how one minute I am thinking about how I will probably be living in Africa forever, and the very next minute looking up airfare to the States and counting down the days til a potential visit! It´s funny, all these things, and recognizing that this is a transition stage, I am gonna be all over the place for a while, and then before I know it it will be September and I will be wondering where the year went.

I was just gchatting with a dear friend and during my conversation with her, it sparked my memory of a greeting card hanging up in my room here in Africa, a card my mother sent me last year that has followed me around the world. The quote on the card says,

"Any given moment can change your life," she said. "You just have to BE there."

This card catches my eye every few days and I need to keep that in mind here. Though my new stage of life and its sheer overwhelming nature may cause me to laugh louder, dream bigger, miss greater, think deeper, and cry harder, in each of these moments, I learn more what it feels to be truly alive. And in each and every moment, I am blessed.