Just Dance... It´ll Be Okay

This weekend is Dance Marathon. It is weird not being there... it´s the first HUGE event that has really happened since I have been gone, and it´s really starting to sink in that I am not there for it in any capacity. I am trying not to dwell on that, but it´s hard, especially because I have been a little bit homesick for familiarity as of late. But instead I am trying to take the time to, instead of wishing I could be there, just think about how much DM has changed my life.

I signed up to dance at DM 2005 not having any idea about what I was getting into... I just loved to dance! Those 26 hours had a profound effect on me, and my eyes were opened to the HIV/AIDS pandemic.

Fast forward three more years to DM 2009. At my fourth (and final... for now) Dance Marathon, I was a different person than I was that first year. I was on the steering committee, following two years on general (reslife for life and dancer captain extraordinare) and not really believing that this would be my last year. Those 26 hours were some of the most memorable of my life... I spent the whole time trying to avoid "hitting the wall"... you know, the point in any marathon, running or dancing, where you think you might actually die. (It was 6AM my first year... 10PM my second year when I was on committee, and I am pretty sure I fell asleep under a table somewhere.)

Besides from DM 2008 being my last one, it was also a special time for me in an entirely other, but related, way. My involvement with DM affected my UCLA experience in many ways... it helped me settle on International Development Studies as one of my majors, and also led me to conduct independent research on HIV/AIDS education in Africa. But then I knew it didn´t stop there... I felt myself compelled to do something bigger, go farther. So I found myself, on February 13th, just three days before DM, getting my nomination to work with HIV/AIDS in Africa with the Peace Corps.

Fast forward to that last power hour... standing backstage with senior steering members, bursting into tears that I had held back for the first 25 hours... couldn´t believe this HUGE part of my life was coming to an end.. (and WHAT was I gonna do with all that highlighter?!?!) In that moment, I couldn´t imagine leaving LA yet, leaving these people, these friends, these memories that meant the world to me.

And in that moment, I knew that I had to.

As those last morale dances winded down and those numbers were held up, as the tears did not stop... I knew I was closing a chapter of my life that would fundamentally change the rest of it.

I am not going to lie, I am homesick for LA, and I am really, terribly sad that I will not be at DM this year, sporting my highlighter (I did keep some of it...), cheering on dancers, encouraging committee members. But as I write this, I am sitting here in Mozambique, as a Peace Corps Volunteer, making new memories and learning new things that will undoubtedly change my life at least as much as four years of Dance Marathon did.

I am sad I cannot be there this year. But I at least know that I am doing my part for a better world, and I would never be here if it was not for DM.

If anyone is reading this who is involved, I want to say good luck... and thank you for giving up part of your life for something bigger. And I can only hope that DM touches your life the way it touched mine.

Who knows, maybe I will make a comeback at DM 2011. But no matter what happens, I am here in Africa, dancing in spirit.