Are you more amazed at how things change, or how they stay the same?

It's late Friday night/Saturday morning, but I can't sleep really so I find myself here. Today marks one week left before I leave--and it's starting to take a toll. Of course, I am incredibly excited and part of me can't wait to leave, but the other, smaller part is getting a bit anxious/scared and rightfully so.

UCLA is doing move-in this weekend--a weekend I remember both fondly and not-so-fondly from my four years of on campus living and ORL'ing. It got me thinking about where I was a year ago today. At this time last year I was well on my way into an all-nighter the night before the majority of my residents moved in. I had spent the summer traveling Europe and the last few weeks wrapped up in ORL training for the third and final time. And I was wondering what the new year would bring. As an RA--What would my new floor be like, the 106 residents I would be greeting that weekend? How would my relationships with the new dykstra team play out... could anything compare to 06-07? As a student--would I finish my double major on time? Would I successfully raise my GPA a little bit? As an overcommitted UCLA student--What would DM '08 be like? Would I survive on steering? How will committee end up? How much will we raise? And as a TG--will I get closer to people on tours, finally? And then the much bigger issues--I was going into my last year of college. What is that going to be like? Will I be able to live with no regrets? Will I be able to build and strengthen relationships now that I can take with me for the rest of my life? And of course, what will the future hold? How will I spend my summer--Orientation? Internship in DC? Language school in a foreign country? And the next year... will I stay here, take a year off, be an ARD? Work and live in Venice Beach? Go home up north to save money? Or do something crazy like move to Africa or something?

It's weird to sit here and think about the person I was, and where I was in life, a year ago. If only I had known then what I know now--but again, that takes some of the fun out of living. Learning as we grow to grow with both the good--and the bad. What's weirder to think is--especially because I have changed and grown so much in the last twelve months--that the time I am going to be gone is twice that. To think of how much I'll change--and how the much the world around me will as well--in 27 months is exciting but terrifying. However, God shows me every day that not everything changes. I still have my faith which will always sustain me, no matter where I am or what place I'm in, physically or mentally. I have my family and close friends, no matter how far apart we may be, and how those relationships may change over the years. I may be off to Africa, but I'll always have California (major earthquakes and possible future seccession nonwithstanding). I may be an adult now, but I'm still a kid at heart. I'm still quick to scramble for an ice cream cone or to carry my poor old cat around on my shoulder. Two years will go by fast, and I'll have an amazing experience when I'm there. If it sounds like I'm writing this to try to convince myself, I kind of am. But that's okay. Next time I get scared about the length of time, I'll remind myself how awesome it will be to walk around the Apple store out of being out of America for two years--talk about a kid in a candy store! :)